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Handling Mature Children
Social Issues
Dr. Shehzad Saleem

In a society envisaged by Islam it is important that an individual give due regard to the opinion of the parents in various matters; it is even more important that the parents be extra cautious in this matter since they hold moral authority over their children. Misuse and abuse of such authority can produce grave consequences. Parents must give deep consideration to the inclinations and tendencies of their children in deciding their future in all important affairs such as selection of spouse and profession. They should understand that once their children become mentally mature they must not impose their ideas on them. When an individual develops into a grown up person he deserves freedom of expression and freedom of action within certain limits. This actually develops and strengthens his personality. The vivacity of youth and the vigour of adolescence demand a certain amount of independence, which if curtailed, only turns a dull child into a dunce and an intelligent one into a ruffian. Adult children must be handled very tactfully. They must be molded and convinced, encouraged and exhorted. Parents must realize that an adult child learns a lot through experience and exposure. The blunders he will commit today make him wise tomorrow. Parents who forgive and forgo win respect and regard and those who make it a point to punish the children on every mistake committed make no positive impression in their minds. Important decisions must always be discussed with children to breed confidence and conviction in them. A decision as crucial as marriage is no exception. If parents have a different view from their son’s or daughter’s, they must handle the situation very carefully.



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