Dealing with an ‘inhuman’ Parent
Social Issues
Question asked by .
Answered by Dr. Shehzad Saleem

I have a problem with my father. I converted to Islam many years ago, but he is against Muslims and has mocked some practices of Muslims. I believe he is prejudiced out of ignorance, false pride, and personal insecurity. He is also an emotionally very unstable man and during my childhood has done many bad things to me of which I cannot even speak here. Must I have a relationship with him? Every time I try and connect to him in a respectful manner, I find that I must retreat in order to maintain my sanity and the scrap of respect that I believe I owe him on account, that as a Muslim, I am obliged to respecting him as my father nevertheless. However, after all that has happened, I cannot imagine sustaining a relationship with him. Is there any justification for me keeping away from him under these circumstances?


I understand the trauma through which you must be going regarding this relationship. If your father has broken all the limits in your childhood and is persisting with some wrong attitude, you are not required to have any sort of relationship with him -- although if you do so, you shall be greatly rewarded.

Blood relationships hold great sanctity in Islam. But if a person violates the sanctity of such a relationship, the affected person is not required to maintain this relationship. Consequently, if you sever your relationship with him or keep it very limited, then this can in no way be objected to.

For Questions on Islam, please use our