The Delayed Departure of a Bride
Social Issues
Question asked by .
Answered by Dr. Shehzad Saleem

I have had my Nikāh, but the Rukhsatī is yet to take place. First of all I want to know whether Rukhsatī is in our religion or from the Pakistani culture. Because I have read that after a person has had his Nikāh, then he or she is considered to be married. But a lot of my family members have some misconceptions. They have stopped me and my husband from going out for a walk or for dinner, and do not allow him to stay at my house (in a separate room). I would really appreciate if you could clear the concepts of my family and give appropriate references from Islamic books which I can show them.


Once the Nikāh ceremony takes place, a man and a woman are husband and wife in the legal sense. Consequently, as far as their legal rights and obligations are concerned, they cannot be tampered with in any way. In such circumstances, if the wife insists that he come and stay at her house or if they go out together for some entertainment, then perhaps no one can put a blame on them in the legal sense, but then there is another aspect to this which needs deep consideration. You see the formation of a family is not merely an issue of law and legal rights. Such things only safeguard the marriage contract and protect the interests of the spouses. As such, they have deep significance. However, the formation of a family has a social side as well. By this is meant the healthy traditions and conventions of a society which have evolved over centuries and which have taken the shape of certain accepted norms. On these traditions is built the fabric of a society and they themselves are based on precepts and standards which human nature in general relishes. The Sharī‘ah itself directs us to follow these traditions and customs of a society.

If a husband meets or converses with his wife who he is yet to take home in the presence of elders then this is something which is in accordance with the traditions of an Islamic society. However, it is against the conventions and traditions of an Islamic society for a husband to stay at the house of such a wife, or take her out alone though legally, as I said, this cannot be objected to.

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